THE FLEA THAT DISMANTLED RACISM
Written by: Patrick Connolly
ROZ: Alright. Well…I guess we’ll move onto the final question of the evening. Vice President Mickey: what is your response to the racism that’s going on in our country today?
(Just as he’s about to talk, a flea named JOHN RATZENBERGER finally finds a place to rest: on the top of VP MICKEY’s head)
JOHN: Eh, well this is a good place to rest after a long day at the circus. Oh wow, quite a lot of people here. Why do their faces look weird?
VP MICKEY: Well, I think it’s a simple thing really. I think that racism doesn’t exist.
JOHN: Welp, I better get a good night’s sleep before the—wait, what?
VP MICKEY: Yeah, this whole thing about how “implicit bias” exists and whatnot. Why do people have to talk like this?
JOHN: Uh….because it does exist?
VP MICKEY: Come on. We all know that racism doesn’t exist. It’s just a system created by the imaginations of those who want to vilify, not debate peacefully. How can we move forward as a nation when we keep moving backward with these outdated ideals? Empathy? Hope? Understanding? There’s no time for that anymore. We need to take these indigenous individuals and push them somewhere else…. (He continues to talk like the racist he is)
JOHN: Uh….yeah. I’ll be right back.
(JOHN immediately flies over to HENRY J. HORNET and LOUISA VAN LOCUST)
JOHN: Guys. Emergency!
LOCUST: What is it?
JOHN: We might be electing a racist as Vice President for another four years. We’ve got to do something.
HORNET: Excuse me?
LOCUST: A racist?
HORNET: No. This will not do.
LOCUST: Shall I?
HORNET: Yes. You shall.
(LOCUST makes a loud “dun-dede-DUNNN!” sound to call all the flies, hornets and locusts to action. All of them fly over to where the Presidential Debate is, and they start to attack VP Mickey, almost to the point of burning the place down, with the ending of Alan Menken’s “Sanctuary” playing in the background. The fires continue to burn. It’s pretty satisfying)
ROZ: Well….I guess that’s the debate. Harriet, you win the election by default. Congratulations. A bunch of bugs saved us from another four years of this mess. Debate dismissed.
(The place continues to burn. Just then, Harriet sits at the table with his coffee mug)
HARRIET: This is fine.
Created and Produced by
PIXAR ANIMATION STUDIOS